What is the fix?
Recovery is a battle. But worth it.
But why try. Ok I will try and write this from the beyrayed point of view, so this should be interesting and by all means disagree if you want to.
Where to begin?
Why on gods earth should there even be a recovery? Bloody good question. There has been betrayal, hurt, pain, desertion, mental torment, lies, mistrust and generally a maze of what the hell!
So why should there be recovery? Why not walk away and start over? Why hang on and fight for something that has dragged you to the very edge?
Maybe it is because there is something you know deep down that is worth the fight? A person that you actually know, the real person and not the monster that has taken over and is contolling the real person.
But to progress that recovery you must make some decisions and actually make some demands. You are right to do so.
What are these demands?
A change of job, move house, cut off all communication etc. Well yes all of those are well within the realms of demand.
But, recovery flows deeper than a change of circumstance. Don't get me wrong a change of circumstance helps greatly but the truth is, recovery is healing and healing is time. Time is the great healer.
Let's be clear, there will always be a scar that you will not be able to remove. It will always be there and you won't be able to remove it. It is too deep but you can tattoo over it. But that takes time. Not just time but actions. I learnt that actions equal love and àctions (the right actions) help the healing.
Again though, time. Time is valuable here. You can't rush healing. We just cannot turn our hurts off or foget them easily. When trust is broken on such a large scale there is a cost to buy that trust back.
But if you appreciate the good things in life you will learn from the grave mistake. How, what, huh?
I hope that I have shown that I have learnt. So from the beyrayed point of veiw I would hope that I show truth. Genuine care and love. A maturity and a new man that is wiser and more appreciative of his beloved lady and that he knows what a strong women she is.
I do. I now know what strength is and I realise that I am only me without her. With her I am stronger and whole.
The lesson is learnt and the lesson is evident.
Only honesty, openess and a truely open heart is recovery.
1 year 3 years or 5, time will pass by, memories will fade.
We can mend and we can be one again. Be patient.