Search
  • Paul Hopkins

Danger on the horizon

We are human beings that pay attention to stimuli that are possibly fulfilling, even in the absence of any possibility of reward. The brain thinks that this is good, this is right, this will happen… dopamine dysregulation will kindle episodes of fierce cravings, because in the past such episodes have led to a renewed ingestion of the drug in question. I lay there floating in a world of fantasies and pleasure, just floating and grinning like a schoolboy in love (but hey, this was deeper than a schoolboy in love scenario – I actually think I was in love) but awoke with one hell of a thud as I came crashing down to reality.


· How do I know if she loves me?

· Does she truly love me?

· What are the signs she loves me?

· What are signs she likes me?

· How do I know she is flirting?

· How do I make a move?

· What if I get it wrong?

· How do I know my wife loves me (stupid one)?

· My wife does not communicate with me

· How to build a marriage back up

· Do affairs last? (Apparently only 3% do, but even then, what if I am in the 3%... of course I will be.)


It was difficult for me to talk about the affair. Answers were wanted, and who could blame her? She wanted to know why I had decided to leave the person, she wanted to know if she was the safe bet, the safe choice.


I tried in my own way to explain the affair, it was never planned and that I had no intention of pursuing an affair, but that things and circumstances caught up with me and started to take over.

Sometimes we argued due to frustrations.


She never understood my affair. How it had become so addictive and so captivating. She never understood the thoughts and emotions that I went through and the continual battle that slowly ground me down to nothing. I also had to deal with the bereavement of breaking up the affair. The fact that I broke it off didn’t mean that I could just forget and move on. No, I had to deal with the loss . It was hard and the truth is, I still find it hard.


But the truth is she had to deal with loss as well. A deep sense that she had lost so many things. Her true love, her trust, her belief in me. I took all that away.




1 view0 comments

Recent Posts

See All